Monthly Archives: February 2012

They Look Like Cabbages

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I am loving walking to work lately.

My bike has developed this embarrassing squeak every time I push on the right pedal. It’s so bad that a few weeks ago I stopped at a red light, and a cyclist man in front of me turned around and offered me oil! I’ve soaked the whole area in WD40 to no avail, therefore I’ve decided to retire my bike until the Spring when I can justify a(nother) tune-up.

Plus I feel like walking 20 minutes is better exercise than riding for 7-9 minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does anyone know what these plants are? They look like cabbages but if they are, in fact, cabbages, a) why would the City of Toronto plant them? and b) why don’t homeless hungry bums people uproot and eat them?

 

Oscars 2012: Best and Worst Dressed

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Who watched the Academy Awards last night? I did, and I managed to squeeze the red carpet pre-show and the ceremony into a zippy hour-and-a-half by fast-forwarding through all commercials, speeches, and those filler awards no one really cares about.

I don’t really care who wins or loses, but I do care what the stars are wearing! Here are my picks for best and worst dressed:

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BEST DRESSED

1. Jessica Chastain: I love redheaded women. This dress reminds me of the sort of rich brocade royalty might wear back in “the day,” but the bare shoulders give it a modern twist.

2. Kristen Wiig: This dress is on a lot of worst-dressed lists, and I can’t understand why. It’s gorg! The top has great details, and the whole dress is so soft and feminine.

3. Michelle Williams: I wish Michelle Williams would try a different hairstyle, but this dress looks amazing on her. Orange is the colour of the season!

4. Rooney Mara: Brunette with bangs and red lips… need I say more?

5. Stacy Keibler: I find this woman annoying on a few levels, but even I can’t deny how fabulash she looks. I’m not usually crazy about big flowers or other objects that pouf out of a dress, but it works for her. She could be a spokes model for Hollywood.

6. Emma Stone: Again with the redheads. I love the clash of the red dress with Emma’s red hair. If I were her stylist I might suggest a dress for a younger woman, but it’s still lovely. Plus she’s hilarious.

7. Glenn Close: Timeless elegance. Also, I love a good suit jacket on a woman.

WORST DRESSED

1. Jennifer Lopez: Too Jenny-from-the-Block. At an awards show like this you want to be sexy AND classy. If the shoulders didn’t have cutouts I’d like this dress a lot more.

2. Meryl Streep: This looks like I bought gold fabric from Mood and did a bad draping job. Auf Wiedersehen!

3. Missi Pyle: The dress itself isn’t that bad, but this colour is the worst! Too Easter-eggy.

4. Natalie Portman: I love Natalie Portman and I love polka dots, but not together at a fancy awards show. Plus is there a ruffle at the bottom? Oh no…

5. Rose Byrne: This is just weird. Rose Byrne is insanely beautiful, but black sequins? With those thick black shoes?

6. Sandra Bullock: In theory I like this dress, but it gives the impression that Sandra has no waist.

7. Shailene Woodley: This girl is 20 years old, and yet she is dressed like a Grandma from the 70s. Show some skin! (But not too much a la J-Lo.) I actually think this dress could be really pretty, but the fabric looks so heavy and curtain-y.

8. Berenice Bejo: Everything is unflattering about this dress: the cut, the colour, the shape… yeech!

AND JUST BECAUSE…

Kate Mara, Rooney Mara’s sister, you terrify me and always will thanks to American Horror Story.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Angelina Jolie, what’s with the leg? A little subtlety goes a long way.

Don’ts for Wives

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For Valentine’s Day this year, my new husband got me a tiny little book called Don’ts for Wives, published in 1913. He said, “You love books and you love tiny things, so it’s the perfect gift.” Indeed. :shock: I took a picture of the book with a standard pen so you can see just how tiny it really is.

To be honest it is a perfect gift. I have zero experience being a wife. How I’ve handled it for four months already just boggles my mind. It’s mind-boggling! I need to know what NOT to do before I destroy our marriage.

The book is divided into several chapters, including: Personalities, How to Avoid Discord, Habits, Financial Matters, Evenings at home (ooh la la), Jealousy, Recreation, Food, Dress, Entertaining, Household Management, and Children. All important topics pertaining to new wives!

A few of my girlfriends are also becoming new wives this year, so I thought it would be appropriate to post some of the advice from this book. After all, what do they know about being wives? Nothing! That’s what. I’m just sharing the wealth.

Without further ado, let’s start with:

PERSONALITIES

Don’t pose as a helpless creature who can do nothing for herself; don’t drag your husband away from his office to see you across a street; don’t profess to be unable to understand Bradshaw, or to take a journey alone. It’s true that the weak, clinging wife is often a favourite, but she is equally often a nuisance.

Oh, to be a weak, clinging wife! In fact, I take many “journeys” alone (one might say on the daily) and, not to boast or anything, but I have zero troubles crossing the street by myself.

If I had to translate this don’t into modern jargon, I would say: Don’t be a brainless idiot, and don’t be afraid to be proud of your bad independent self. Even in 1913, good wives were apparently somewhat self-sufficient. You go girl!

On a final note, are we talking about Bradshaw the 15th century poet or Bradshaw the 19th century scholar? (Not that I know anything about either.)

Book Review: Shaping the New You (Chicken Soup for the Soul)

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I just finished reading Chicken Soup for the Soul: Shaping the New You (published December, 2010), edited by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Amy Newmark.

(I feel I should add some sort of disclaimer here, for any snobby literary types who may snub reading and reviewing a book such as this. As you’ll soon find out, I read and enjoy many different kinds of books. No shame!)

I was in the checkout line at Shoppers Drug Mart with my husband when this book first caught my eye. “Ooh!” I said, “I used to love reading these Chicken Soup books when I was a teenager.” He replied, “You aren’t buying that book.” :roll: Of course not. I took a picture of it and later put it on hold at the library.

It’s hard to stay committed to fitness, so I try to find motivation wherever I can. This book appealed to me because I thought it would be filled with one inspirational story after another. It was, but they weren’t really the stories I was expecting.

The foreword by Richard Simmons should have tipped me off. I did learn that he used to be a waiter on roller skates in Hollywood before he opened his first fitness studio. Oh, Richard. He’s ridiculous, but does have a great life attitude. Lifitude!

This book is not meant for people who are a) under 40 and/or b) already active in any way. There are a lot of stories about people who have never thought about exercise, people who woke up one day to find themselves 40 or more pounds over their regular weight (denial!), and people who didn’t recognize themselves in photos (who is that obese woman standing next to my husband on vacation? It’s me!?!?). I find the cover to be very misleading. As you can see (above), there is a young woman of a reasonable weight on the cover, hugging her retro scale. To the people who designed the cover: what the heck?

One story made no sense at all. It was about this group of overweight women who go to a restaurant where there is a low-calorie section on the menu. After reviewing their choices, they all giggle maniacally and order whatever they want. A thin friend and her husband come into the restaurant. The women berate them, before deciding to walk two shops over to the ice cream shop for dessert, claiming it’s good exercise. More maniacal laughing ensues.

Seems a little out of place…

I can see how this book would be motivating for some people, but it wasn’t for me. For that, I am giving it one neutral face :neutral: out of five potential big smiley guys :grin: .

Book: Chicken Soup for the Soul: Shaping the New You
Review: :neutral: _ _ _ _

Internet MeMeMeMeMe… etc.

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My old blog pal Jaime tagged me in a blog survey. She’s nice, and I’m new to the blogging game, so I’m going to participate, with fervour!

RULES:

  1. Post these rules. Done.
  2. Post 11 random things about yourself. Will do.
  3. Answer the questions the person who tagged you set for you in their post. No problemo.
  4. Tag 11 new people to participate. No… only because I don’t know 11 people. Sad really.
  5. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer. N/A
  6. Go to their blog and tell them you’ve tagged them. N/A

ELEVEN RANDOM THINGS ABOUT MOI:

  1. I own more than 50 dresses.
  2. I never thought I would say this, but I prefer reading books on my e-reader (rather than “real” books).
  3. I recently tried Roasted Seasoned Nori, thinking it would be the perfect healthy, low-calorie snack. It’s disgusting.
  4. Some of my favourite television shows are written for teenagers.
  5. I’m currently one-and-a-half weeks into this weight-training program.
  6. My favourite food is pizza.
  7. I once ate 12 tacos in one sitting. Not my finest hour.
  8. I’ve been a wife for exactly four months and two weeks.
  9. It’s my dream to one day own a house in The Annex. Preferably with my own walk-in closet.
  10. Solving logic puzzles gives me a thrill.
  11. I’ve never played Angry Birds… yet.

JAIME’S QUESTIONS:

  1. Black or white? Black.
  2. Day or night? Day.
  3. Spring or Fall? Spring.
  4. Bacon or ham? Ham.
  5. Scrambled or over-easy? Over-easy.
  6. Vanilla latte or black coffee? Both.
  7. Dogs or cats? Both.
  8. Attached or single? Attached.
  9. Beer or wine? Wine.
  10. iPhone or Android? iPhone.
  11. Fruit or veggies? Fruit.

That was easy!

The First Post is the Hardest

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According to a few online sources, my first blog post should set the tone for the rest of my posts. I should explain who I am, why I’m blogging and what I’m going to write about.

The thing is, I have no idea what I’m going to write about. Why pick just one topic? Instead, I’m going to write about anything that interests me. Off the top of my head, in no particular order, this consists of: books, fashion, fitness, food (three F words already), television, marriage, music, writing, and, of course, wine. Apparently I think alphabetically. Wild! Let the fun begin.